Desires Fulfilled -- Then What?

by Gregory Allen Butler

What if all of your desires came true? Better than that, what if they came true instantly? It would be sort of like having unlimited wishes from a genie in a bottle. Do you think you would be happy?

You would probably have the house of your dreams to live in, the most exotic car to drive, the sexiest and most beautiful spouse, the best food to eat, the best wine to drink. And if you're like me, you would desire the greatest sound system imaginable, and that too you would have instantly.

But there is a caveat; you don't know how long or if any of this will last. All of your possessions might disappear as quickly as they appeared. Do you think you could live with that?

That is the backdrop to an old story you may or may not of heard before. Stephen Levine tells it in his book, Who Dies?

I tell it a little bit differently: A man dies, and after departing this world, finds himself in what seems like paradise. He says to himself, "I guess I lived a pretty good life after all, because this sure looks like heaven." After looking around at the beauty, he says, "I'm going to need a place to live." And instantly a fabulous house appears right in front of him. "Heaven is definitely a pretty neat place," he thinks.

He walks to the front door and it swings open and he sees all the décor and furnishings he had always desired, but could never afford. He sits down and realizes that he is hungry and then he sees on the dining room table all of his favorite dishes, prepared just the way he likes them.

"But what will I drink?" he ask. Just then his favorite brand and vintage of wine appears on the table. "This is too far out!" he exclaims.

"It sure would be nice if I could listen to some good jazz," he says as he sips his wine, thinking of all the desires he could entertain in his mind. Just then he hears John Coltrane playing "A Love Supreme" on a mind-blowing sound system coming through the walls.

He hangs out in his fabulous house for a few days, eating his favorite dishes, listening to his favorite music when he realizes that he would like to share this experience with someone, a romantic partner.

Just then the doorbell rings and he opens the door to see the woman of his desires. "Come on in, I thought that might be you."

So he and his new partner spend months together, eating, drinking wine, listening to jazz, making love, and having all of his desires fulfilled. What more could he want?

But then he starts to realize that he doesn't feel fulfilled in any deep sense of the word. He realizes that if all this were taken away, and no more desires to be granted, he would be devastated. He starts to feel fear. He notices that he is attached to all this luxury. His outer world is perfect, but nothing is happening within.

He says to his beautiful partner, "I've always felt that if I could fulfill all my desires then I would be happy. But how can I be happy if I know my happiness depends on desires being fulfilled? I'm concerned that I am depending so much on my external conditions for my peace of mind. All of this that I have isn't giving me any joy. My mind isn't any quieter. Life's not stressful here, but it's not bringing me any joy. And what if I lose it all? Then what?"

After a few more months of eating everything he has ever wanted to eat, and making love night after night, he starts to question if this is really beneficial to him or not. He realizes that he hasn't been able to move beyond having desires. He tries to calm his inner turmoil by having other desires manifest but that just adds to more desires. He realizes that he hasn't been able to do any inner work on himself at all. So he starts to wonder where he might go that would provide him with an opportunity for growth.

After a while he goes to the man who seems to be in charge of everything and says, "I don't mean to be ungrateful, but I don't think this is the best place for me anymore. I want to work on my fears and feelings of separateness. I would like to transfer to hell."

The man looks at him with a smile, and says, "And where do you think you are?"

That's the thing about desires. You think their fulfillment will bring you peace and happiness, but it leaves the spirit restless, and so another desire crops up that might solve the problem, that might quench the thirst. But we're left dry.

When we step out of our inner world to seek fulfillment of desires in the outer world, it's very possible to forget who we are. The inner thirst for wholeness can only come from within. If we get too ensnared by a mirage of desires in the outer world, we forget how to quench that inner thirst. And then we suffer.

We forget who we are. We are not our circumstances. We are that which existed before our circumstances ever existed. And we are that which continues to exist after our circumstances cease to be.